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HUMOUR: Pope & his Chauffeur

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While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive.  The driver was a good Catholic man and would not ever dream of questioning the pope’s authority.  So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them.  As he pulled them over, he called in his headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?”

The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than he mayor”.

Then the chief asked “Is it the governor?”

The policeman answered: “No someone more important than the governor”.

The chief finally asked: “Is it the President?”

The policeman answered: “No, someone even more important than the President”.

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: “Now who is more important than the President?”

The policeman calmly whispered: “I’ll put it to you this way chief, I don’t know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur”.

 

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An open letter to the President of Ohaneze Ndi Igbo

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An open letter to the President of Ohaneze Ndi Igbo -Kenkwo Kingsley Kesaandu

Re: South East Regional Security

By: Kenkwo, Kesaandu Kingsley

 

Mr. President,

I want to start by commending Ohaneze Ndi Igbo socio-cultural group for their interest in the welfare of Ndi Igbo mostly as it concerns security with their call for us to have our own regional security like the North and West to complement the efforts of main security outfits like the Military, Police and NSCDC.

Sir, we appreciate how you called the South East Governors for them to understand the importance of this with regards to the killings mostly by the Fulani herdsmen.

Governor Dave Umahi at some point, told us that the Yorubas copied Operation Amotekun from them, saying it was their idea.

This took our hopes high that our leaders are about living up to their primary responsibility of protecting lives and properties of the people. Though many were pessimistic as they sounded so convincing that these Governors do not have the will to push the regional security.

Unfortunately, yesterday, they unanimously agreed to just the community police of the NPF. Frankly, nobody is against the community police but we shall be safer if we have the regional security to complement them as they know all the nooks and crannies of our homes.

Sir, it is very obvious that “ndi anyi na ha so achuga mmuo si na anyi n’esi mmuo mmuo” and these Governors have no regards for us.

I can only describe this act of theirs as being sycophantic as the wish to impress the Presidency.

People who came to beg us for votes few months back, now have no regards for our takes and feelings.

I wish to state that these five men spoke for themselves and not even members of their families as no sane Igbo man is inline with them.

Sir, we look up to your leadership to bring back sanity of these men as it is crystal clear that personal interest has beclouded their sense of reasoning and judgment.

On this note, I make the following recommendations to you.

1. Organise a South-East protest in support of our own regional security.

2. Give the South-East Governors 72hours ultimatum to reconsider their decisions.

3. Mandate all the South-East Speakers of the five Houses of Assembly to start preparing the bill that will back up the regional security in the region.

4. Meet Mr. President and the NSA on behalf of Ndi Igbo and the importance of having our own regional security that will help FG in its fight to tackle insecurity like kidnapping, armed robbery, Fulani herdsmen killings etc.

There is no doubt that Ndi Igbo are peace loving people who are very law abiding. We value life so much.

We are ready to forgive our Governors as they do not know what they are doing.
We cannot leave our security issues to them as it is every man’s business.

They and their families go about their daily activities with heavily armed security officers and might not understand what the common people pass through on daily basis “onye ahu di nma amaghi ihe onye ibi n’ahu”. People now find it extremely difficult to go to farms and this is our major hope of survival.

Sir, majority of us unlike the Governors and their families who are guarded by security men with our money do not have what it takes to hire the police as “onye nna ya luuru nwaanyi amaghi uru nwaanyi bara”. They should kindly allow us to have this security outfit ‘Operation Ogbuigwe’ as many have suggested so that we can put a stop to this menace and common enemy of the people called insecurity.

Remember, this is a very crucial issue and must be addressed with all level of seriousness as Ndi Igbo also deserve sound sleep with their eyes properly close.

Thanks!
Yours in the development of Ala Igbo,
Kenkwo Kesaandu Kingsley (KKK)
President, Ihitte/Uboma Youth Forum, Ihitte/Uboma L.G.A., Imo State.
13th February, 2020.

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Scrap JAMB E-Exam

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Scrap JAMB E-Exam

I wish to use this medium to express my dissatisfaction over the introduction of the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board E-Examination (JAMB).

If I may ask, can our nation, Nigeria ever become a developed country? Over the years, Nigeria had always been known as a developing nation. I have never heard that Nigeria has become a developed nation, and yet we are competing with the Western world.

Few months ago, not less than 1,500,000 candidates sat for JAMB examination for this year. How many of them can boast of satisfaction during and after the examination? They complained of one problem or another. It is either that the power supply failed, or that there was no network at the center, “no internet connection”.

Imagine what it will look like during examinations when such a situation occurs, while the few lucky ones are busy writing the same examination you are supposed to start, finish together at the same time: The shock alone will make that person fail.

It is quite obvious that half of the candidates, who sat for the examination ended-up with low scores and some did not even have a result at all at the end of all their struggles, due to the unpleasant experience they had.. If JAMB must conduct e-examination, let it start afresh with a better arrangement all together, at least by properly equipping all the centers with modern computer sets, because most of the computers they are using are faulty and out-dated.

Furthermore, with our epileptic power supply, who can boast of a hitch-free E-examination? Until the Federal Government and JAMB sit together and look into this unpleasant situation, nothing better can be achieved.

I suggest that the Federal Government and JAMB should embark on a project for ICT Center in every state of the Federation. Each state should have a five thousand (5000) capacity hall, well equipped to tackle the issue of congestion that are experienced in our JAMB examination centres every year.

Thanks, from a concerned citizen

Chidiadi M. Tobechi
Owerri

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Fulani herdsmen menace didn’t start today

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herdmen wahala

DAILY TIMES Friday, August 3,1984

See the audacity with which the Fulani herdsmen spoke 35yrs ago. If we go down memory lane further, we might discover that this fulanization program might be a century old.

What with our innermost villages being invaded by ‘ayon condem’.

Try to ask for directions in a locality you are not conversant with, on a Sunday, you will find that the youths in the street do not speak Igbo.

Oh yes, many of us are so important that guards are imported.

Noble Sir Olumba KSJI
(Owerri)

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